29 Sep Men, Women and Donald Trump*
Pardon my French, but if you don’t have the balls to hear what I have to say on these delicate subjects, I strongly encourage you to stop reading. I’m going to be raw about it.
Some people have it. It’s that “je ne sais quoi” that drives people insane and makes them jealous and crazy, but it’s not something anyone can control, learn, accept, deny, negate or follow. You’re either born that way or not. Man or woman. Sex is irrelevant.
Now we all know people who’ve been married for what seems like hundreds of years. We also know many in the opposite situation…never been married once. Well, apparently there are reasons for both.
I’ll share what I’ve learned, observed and noticed in the past 18 month’s research that I’ve conducted on these topics. While some statements will reflect personal observations, others will be information gathered from in-person and undercover interviews. A writer’s got to do what a writer’s got to do to obtain information.
First of all, any kind of relationship implies hard work, selflessness, generosity that takes several forms: time, emotions, financial. You also need amazing communication skills and the ability to trust each other.
I hate to break it to you, but you might lack all of the above and not even know it!
Everybody I talked to had completely unrealistic expectations of their ideal partner. Most men prefer much younger women, who are definitely very attractive, well-endowed and well-dressed, successful, sexually driven, charming, caring, an amazing cook, faithful, , with a girl-next-door look. Actually they probably want several of these ideal girls.
Such a woman doesn’t exist. And if she did, no man could handle her. A different species would need to be created.
Most women want men who are generous, financially stable, loving, caring, romantic, strong, and masculine, obedient, open, empathetic, understanding and calm, very calm, exciting, interesting, smart, and dumb at the same time, passionate, laid back and able to easily pull off a T-shirt and flip-flops. Having an interest in French literature and being faithful and aggressively in love doesn’t hurt either.
Such a man doesn’t exist. If it does, please email me with his info!
Most women want a man who isn’t very attractive. Now that’s interesting! Men who get the most women are actually not the handsome type. They usually have average looks. Any intelligent woman knows already that a man needs to be told he’s good looking and powerful. All men will buy into it and take it at face value. Easy prey for the pros.
But let’s slow down a bit.
I’m going back to that ineffable quality that makes some people absolutely irresistible. We’ve all seen the girl or guy that everybody wants, as well as the girl or guy nobody really cares for.
Apart from the obvious magnetism a person’s born with well-developed attitude, charm and generosity will always be irresistible. Looks are pretty much a matter of perspective, or so we like to tell ourselves.
We’re all attracted to stunning physical beauty. But most of us understand that the person is out of our league, and can’t belong to one person alone. Others will want them, too. Others will strive for them. Some will fight hard to get them. Few understand that no matter what, it’s something that will have to be, and somehow shared. Here’s my concept of beauty for both men and women.
Please learn to have realistic expectations. Even though, exceptions do exist. An exception is always needed to confirm the rule.
If you’re the type of a person who needs to read books on dating, other than for purely entertainment purposes, then if I may, I’d suggest you take some time for introspection. Most people I’ve met can’t face the truth of who they really are. That’s perfectly fine but it might help you understand why others don’t seem to “want” you. It can’t always be everyone else’s fault, right?
If you’ve never been married or in an exclusive fully-committed, multi-year-long relationship with anyone, then maybe you’re “perfect” and everybody you meet isn’t good enough, or maybe, you’re just meant to be alone. Being single isn’t a flaw. It’s a choice. Assume it and enjoy it. But understand, not everybody will agree, accept or put up with your choice.
On the other hand, if you find yourself constantly in new relationships or always married, but to different people, then again, most likely something is amiss. My blog isn’t going to convince you that your partners were awful while you were perfect. But hopefully it’ll make you reflect upon your inner world. And remember, marriage isn’t for everybody. It takes work, commitment, trust, compassion and never forgetting it’s not solely about your well-being. It’s about the team; it’s more about your partner, than it is of yourself. Maybe you’re too selfish, too cold-hearted for marriage.
But however you choose to see things, you should know, you must truly feel them. If you’re after multiple partners, eternal time-wasting and want to have “fun” then you’ll realize soon nobody wants you. Every self-respecting, dignified human being deserves better than this.
If you’re trying to “cage” someone through some conniving scheme, understand you might get what you want, and you’ll probably end up failing. Your own deceit will bite you later in life.
If status is what you’re looking for, then I hope you’re as passionate as a dead fish, as enthusiastic as an Egyptian mummy, as sensitive as a serial killer and as genuine as a plastic diamond. Because that’s what it will take to get you through life. And no, you can’t care about what others think of you. Because it’s all a matter of whether you can live with yourself in the end.
My first sermon is over. Now you can go bar-hopping and expect to find love and affection. You won’t, but if you plan on taking any big risks, then make sure the STD was well worth it.
Ioana, from the political battlefield of the world, Washington, D.C.
*Nothing about Donald Trump…but it certainly got your attention!